New invention idea: vibrating tampons
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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