you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
