this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
