So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
