Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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