we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
