Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
