ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
