i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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