Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
