Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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