lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
