It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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