I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
be right there i have to get my cape
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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