How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
