Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
