a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
