i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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