you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
