we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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