Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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