Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
