He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
