I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
