if you like me you must not know who I am
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
