so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
These tits shall not be calmed
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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