What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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