hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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