i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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