Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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