Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
