I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
