i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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