it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
