No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
