forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
