My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
