Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
