That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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