You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
