Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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