You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
