He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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