i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This baby is an asshole
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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