I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
