Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
