too bad you live with your parents still
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
