Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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