textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I licked your asshole in confidence.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
