Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
